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Monday 16 May 2016

Bondan Wibisono cakep cause and effect

“ Student’s late in going to school”
Indonesia has a lot of problem in school. The problems are not only come from its management but also from students. Violence and bullying are ordinary problems inside the school. Another problem is student’s late in coming to school. Many people say it is a simple problem, but it is an important thing to be analyzed based on its causes.
Firstly, it happens because students don’t wake up early in the morning. They might also have some reasons of that. Sleep at midnight can make student don’t wake up early, because they will spend time for sleep maximally when midnight. Besides that, students might also too tired so they will use sleeping time to release their tired. Sometimes, they have done several jobs that make them tired.
Secondly, students also have some activities before going to school. Sometimes parents are also too busy. They must finish some jobs in the morning, so they will ask their children helping them doing that. On the other hand, students also have some exercises in the morning. They do that to keep their body fresh although it spends time that makes them late.
The last cause, students have no preparation before going to school. They might forget to set schedule, so they will do it in the morning in a hurry. Sometimes, students also forget to wear socks or tie. Socks or tie are part of uniform that must be worn as a student. They may worry if their teacher punishes them because they don’t wear those, so they must do that although spends time.

Overall, students will not be late if they can manage their time wisely. Any cause related to late can be avoided if students can apply good time management.

10 comments:

  1. Dwi arif wibowo

    Hi bon… this is my comment for your essay.

    1. " a lot of problem " should be changed to " a lot of problems "
    2. " its management but" should be changed to "its management, but "
    3. "too tired so " should be changed to "too tired, so "
    4. " fresh although" should be changed to " fresh, although"
    I’m not perfect. Correct me if I’m wrong 

    ReplyDelete
  2. Musyarofah Noviyani (1420302159)

    Hi Bondan. i'd like to comment your essay. :) :)
    Paragraph 2 : "spend time for sleep" i think it'll be better "spend their time for sleep"

    CMIIW :) :)

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  5. Your text is good, but How if you do not shortened "don’t", so that the look more formal :)because in other sentences has been using a formal language.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Hi bon… this is my comment for your essay.
    1. "They might also have some reasons of that" should be "They might also have some reasons for that"
    2. "Sometimes, they have done several jobs" should be "Sometimes, they did several jobs"
    3. "They do that to keep their body fresh although it spends time that makes them late." should be "They do that to keep their body fresh although it spends time, that makes them late."
    4. "The last cause" should be "The last case"
    CMIIW :V

    ReplyDelete
  7. Hana Suci Angggraeni (1420302175/E)

    Helooo bondan. your essay looks good, but i have some comments for your essay. here they are:
    1. on the first paragraph, "a lot of problem" supposed to be "a lot of problems". then, "Violence and bullying" supposed to be "Violence and bully" because, if you put and, so the words between it should be balanced.
    2. on the third paragraph, you'd better replace this statement "so they will ask their children helping" into "so they will ask their children for helping".
    3. on the fourth paragraph, the words "The last cause" supposed to be "The last causes".

    well, that's all bondan, thank's

    ReplyDelete
  8. Antika Esty S (1420302161)
    Hallo Bondan... Your essay is good, but i have some comments for your essay
    1. In paragraph 1 sentence " Indonesia has a lot of problem..." is wrong, should be "problems".
    2.Sentence "Violence and bullying" is wrong should be "bully".
    3. Sentence "they will use sleeping" ,should be "sleep"
    Thank you :)

    ReplyDelete
  9. Hello Bondan!!!
    I’m sorry but any words that you must change because that’s wrong word, like :
    In the firs paragraph, problem it should be problems,
    In the second paragraph don’t may be you can use can’t, and tired so may be you can add (,) between both of them.
    And the third paragraph, part it should be parts.
    Thank you Bondan… 

    ReplyDelete
  10. Dian kusumawati (1420302192)
    Hello bondan,
    Your essay is very good and interesting.
    I found a mistake. "So they will asked their children helping them" I think should be changed to "so, they asked their children to help them"
    Thank you. Sorry if I`m wrong
    Keep spirit

    ReplyDelete

 
 
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