DIAN KUSUMAWATI
1420302192
5/E
Cause-effect
Cause people to not go to the doctor when they have
medical problems
There
are a lot of people who don’t want to go to the doctor when they have medical
problems. In fact, health is the most important thing and have a healthy
body is the happiest thing for everyone.
Also, there are many people prefer stay at home when they are sick. There are three reasons why people don’t go to the doctor when
they have medical problems, such as afraid, have financial problem, and
distance.
Usually people who have medical problems, they don’t want
to go to the doctor because they are afraid. They are afraid to know what kind
of their diseases. Actually, they have negative thinking about their conditions. Also, they are
afraid to be injected, doing blood test and infusion that even though it
doesn’t necessarily happen.
The next reason is they have financial problem. This is a
situation that often happens to a person, especially the lower classes. If they have financial problem, they will feel
reluctant to go to the doctor because they cannot pay the cure cost. So, they
choose to buy cheaper drugs in a small shop without prescription.
The last reason is about the distance. If the distance between their
house and hospital is so far, it will make them feel indolent to go to the
doctor. People who don’t have a vehicle will feel indolent too. They do not
want to go to the hospital by public transport because they do not want to be
bothered. They also do not want to rent a car because it will spend their money.
In conclusion, People want to go to the doctor or not, it
depends on their desire. If their condition is not enable like feel afraid,
have financial problem, and the distance, but if they have desire they will
make an effort to go to the doctor when have medical problems. It all depends on their willingness.
Dwi Arif Wibowo 1420302158
ReplyDeleteHi Miss Dian, I have advice or you. Hopefully it will improve your writing skill.
1. "people prefer stay at home" should be changed to "people prefer to stay at home"
2. "they have financial problem" should be changed to "they have a financial problem"
3. "small shop without prescription." should be changed to "small shop without a prescription."
I’m not perfect. Correct me if I’m wrong.
Hello Dian! I'd like to comment your essay.
ReplyDelete1. On paragraph 1, you shouldn't use comma when you want to write "and". It will be "such as afraid, have financial problem and distance."
2. On paragraph 3, you wrote the word "so" at the beginning of sentence. I just wanna remind you that it isn't allowed to write "so" at the beginning of sentence, so you won't do that again on your next essay.
Thank you ^__^
hello Dian! i have some correction about some mistakes in your essay. here they are:
ReplyDelete1. your tittle supposed to be "Cause of people to not go to the doctor when they have medical problems".
2. the statement "They are afraid to know what kind of their diseases" supposed to be "They are afraid to know what kinds of their diseases". you have to pay attention about the plural and singular form.
3. On the last paragraph, word "people" should not to be written with capital alphabet.
that's all Dian. thank you ^^
andres indra bagus (1420302178)
ReplyDeletehi my Beloved
emm i wanna give your writer comment but i don't know where is your mistake , because for me you're perfect haha just kidding :D
OK . Back to the topic. the other comentator gives you many advice. i think hana's statement is true about your tittle . and the second i agree with mr. bowo comment although i don't understand clearly with his comment :D