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Thursday 5 May 2016

NUR HALIMAH ( 1420302187/ CLASS E) Cause-effect Essay



What are the effect of growing up in poverty?
Recently, there are many social problems that must be faced by people all over the world, for example : poverty, education, politic, defense, etc. There is no people who want to live in poverty. There are some effects when someone growing up in poverty. However, some people get the spirit to work hard because of their poorness.there are three points that we can discuss about the effects of growing up in poverty, such as: a) the reasons why most of people in the world won’t to grow up and live in poverty; b) what do the people do to against poverty; c) what is the government effort to help citizen who live in poverty.  
A.   The reasons why most of people in the world won’t to grow up and live in poverty
There is no benefit for people  who live in poverty. Not only  adult people that get the effect of it, but also children who was born in a poor family can’t get their need like other children since their infant. First, an adult poor man can’t buy everything that he need in his life. He can’t avoid daily need that must be faced by him. Indeed, he will ask his friends to lend his money to buy his need. It is very hard for him to give the money back to the owner because he don’t have job yet, so it is possible for him to steal money and he will be a criminal. Second, children who live in poor family usually will lose their smile since their infant because their parents are busy to solve their own problem, so their parents don’t teach them how to live in a good way. They will probably don’t  go to school because actually the cost to pay their school is so high for their parents. It is impossible for them to have a good habit when they don’t go to school. This is a big social problem that face by most of country all over the world and really need to be solved  in hurry. It can cause other problemif there is no solution to do.
B.   What do the people do to against poverty
People who live in poverty do many things to go out from their problems. However, there are so many choices that they can take to solve it. There are people who still alive in a good way, although some of them will give up and decide to do the bad way. People who live in the first choice will never give up whatever their condition. They will commit in their hard work in their day and night. Most of them are success to get their want and live happily ever after. It is possible for them to pay their children’s school and tell their children about their story of live, so their children can respect to the true live. Besides that, people who live in second one will do everything that they can and they don’t care about other people to buy their need. Furthermore, poverty is really close to jobless, crime and indeed drugs world. It is possible for them to steal money of bakkery, banks, hotel and whatever they know. People like this just wait for their bad effect for their do because whatever we do, it must have the effect. It is really impossiblefor them to make  happy their family. It is also impossible for them to give their child a good education because they really don’t care about it at all. It just like make a new criminal in the future and all of us really won’t it happen, right?
C.   The government efforts to help citizen who live in poverty
Actually the goverment have their effort to solve poverty in our country. Although, it is very hard for us to move on from poverty. For example, the government give cash direct money for the citizen; they give free education for the primary school; they give free course for the citizen who don’t have a job to increase their skill ability, hope that they can create a new job for themselves and their environment; and manythings effort that they have done, but unfortunately, it is not really successful yet because of so many reasons. Indonesia is a big country that consist of so many island. Each island have their own traditions and cultures. Indonesia also rich of nature sourches inside there, unfortunately, our human sourches don’t able yet to do more to use it. 
In other word, we can conclude that we must looking for the solve of social problem in our society, especially poverty. One social problem can make other problems. For example, poverty is really close to jobless. When someone have no job, it is so difficult for him to buy his daily need and so do their family. It is possible for him to steal money at the bank, factory, and make violance to other people so he is certainly will be a criminal. He will be wanted by police officer and entering the jail. He also can try to consume drugs and alcohol that just make their life to be worst. If they don’t get the drugs and alcohol, they will steal money wherever it is and it is really possible for him to sell drugs. However, there is still chance for us to go out from this social problem. We can work hard and don’t stop to pray to god day and night. We must believe that we can solve our problem and be optimist. Not only citizen who try to against poverty, but also our government have their program to solve it like, the government give cash direct money for the citizen; they give free education for the primary school; they give free course for the citizen who don’t have a job to increase their skill ability, hope that they can create a new job for themselves and their environment; and manythings effort that they have done. So, don’t stop to try the best and get a better life because we are not alone and believe that god will always help us whatever our problem. (Nur Halimah/ 1420302187)

5 comments:

  1. Dwi arif wibowo

    Hi miss hal… this is my comment for your essay.

    1. " poorness.there " should be changed to " poorness. There "
    2. " he need in his life" should be changed to " he needs in his life "
    3. "problemif " should be changed to "problem if "
    4. " story of live" should be changed to " story of life."
    5. "people to buy their need " should be changed to "people to buy their needs "
    7. "impossiblefor " should be changed to "impossible for"
    8. "It just like make" should be changed to "It's just like making"
    9. "the goverment have" should be changed to "the goverment has"
    10. "to help citizen" should be changed to "to help citizens"
    11. "the government give" should be changed to "the government gives"
    12. "manythings " should be changed to "many things "
    13. "a big country that consist" should be changed to "a big country that consists"
    14. " many island" should be changed to "many islands"
    15. "Each island have" should be changed to "Each island has"
    16. "rich of nature sourches" should be changed to "rich of natural sources"
    17. "we must looking " should be changed to "we must look"
    18. "solve of social problem" should be changed to "solve of social problems"
    19. "someone have no job" should be changed to "someone has no job"
    20. "their family" should be changed to "their families"
    21. " make violance" should be changed to " makes violance "
    22. " there is still chance " should be changed to " there is still a chance "
    23. "citizen who try " should be changed to "citizen who tries "
    24. " government have their program" should be changed to " government has their program"
    25. "citizen who don’t have " should be changed to "citizen who doesn’t have "
    26. "manythings " should be changed to "many things "
    27. "help us whatever " should be changed to "help us in whatever "
    I’m not perfect. Correct me if I’m wrong 

    ReplyDelete
  2. Hana Suci Anggraeni (1420302175/E)

    Hi Ms. Halimah, i have some comments to your essay, here they are:
    1. on the first paragraph, the words "There is no people" supposed to be "There are no people", because people is plural, so the "to be" supposed to be "are".
    2. on the second paragraph, if you want to make a passive voice form, this statement "that face by most of country" supposed to be replaced with "that is faced by most of country". then, "children who was" supposed to be "children who were", because children is one of plural forms.
    3. there is a mistype on third paragraph. the word "bakkery" supposed to be "bakery".
    4. on the fourth paragraph, the word "goverment" supposed to be "goverments".
    5. you have to pay attention to determine where you should use singular or plural form.

    that's all Ms. Hal. thank's

    ReplyDelete
  3. andreas indra bagus (1420302178)
    hi Ms.halimah.

    i think mr. bow give you a lot of suggestion that can make you more better than before. and i agree with his comment, and i think you only make a mistake on " space" "typo" "capital" "punctuation"

    thank you . KEEP spirit !! Ms. halimah

    ReplyDelete
  4. Antika Esty S (1420302161/E)
    Hi Ms Hal, i'd like to comment for your essay
    1. "He need in.." should be "needs"
    2. "He will ask his friend" should be "asks"
    3. "The solve of sociak problem" should be "problems"
    Thank you :)

    ReplyDelete
  5. Shafira Adhelia (1420302179)

    Hello Ms. Halimah! I found some mistakes in your essay. Here are my corrections for your mistakes :
    1. I think your tittle should be "What are the effects of growing up in poverty?"
    2. On paragraph 1, I think the sentences "Recently, there are many social problems that must be faced by people all over the world, for example : poverty, education, politic, defense, etc." should be divided into two sentences.
    3. "there" should be "There" with capital word because it is at the beginning of the sentence.
    4. "daily need" should be "the daily needs"
    5. "he don’t have " should be "he doesn't have"
    6. "and really need " should be "and it really needs"
    7. "their story of live" should be "their story of life". If you want to change it with " their life story", it will be better.
    8. "It just like make a new criminal" should be "It just like making a new criminal"
    9. "Actually the goverment have their effort to solve poverty in our country. Although, it is very hard for us to move on from poverty. " should be "Actually, the goverment have their effort to solve poverty in our country although it is very hard for us to move on from poverty. "
    10. " manythings effort " should be "many efforts"
    11. "the bank, factory, and make violance" should be "the bank, factory and do violence"

    That's all. Thank you ^^

    ReplyDelete

 
 
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