SN : 1420302158
Class : E
Video Games on
Children’s Life
Video games are
very popular for children. Almost every child likes playing video games. It has
been part of children’s life this era. There are many genre video games such as
action, adventure, horror, strategy, and shooting. Children like playing video
game especially violent video games. Playing video games have many effects
(both positive and negative) on children for example playing video games makes
lack of socialization in children; It will influence their health; it makes
they can think faster; It increases carefulness.
First of all,
most of children spend their leisure time to play video games in the computer
or smartphone nowadays. A child’s lack of socialization can result in negative
behaviors. They do not realize there is a real life that they must face.
Playing video games makes them forget about the real life. It is dangerous
because they will be adult and must socialize with society. If they do not
realize early they will be apathetic with society.
Playing games
too much can influence children’s health. Eyes will be damage because of it. Children
usually forget about eating time when they are playing games. It will make
stomachache. Children who play video games usually do not do exercise. It will
make children get disease easily and it will decrease their productivity.
On the contrary,
playing video games can make children think faster than children who do not
play video games. They must focus and think fast while playing video game. It
improves children ability. They will solve problem quickly.
Playing video
games can increase their carefulness. When they are playing shooting games,
they must be careful because enemies are everywhere. In the real life, their
carefulness is needed, for example when they are riding a motorcycle, they must
be careful about anything.
Finally, playing
video games is not a problem when children can manage it. Children must finish
their assignment school before playing video games. Video game is not always about negative
effects, it also has positive effects. Furthermore, Parent must reprimand
when they forget the time. Parent should make some regulations to their
children. It will help them to manage their time.
Hana Suci Anggraeni (1420302175/E)
ReplyDeleteHi Bowo..your essay seems good..but i have some comments for your essay..here they are:
1. on the first paragraph, you'd better to give preposition "in" inside this statement "It has been part of children’s life this era". so, it will become "It has been part of children’s life in this era".theb, "There are many genre" supposed to be "There are many genres", because the "genre" here, means plural. you should pay attention to determine where is the plural one or singular one, OK?
2. on the second paragraph, "Playing video games makes them" supposed to be "Playing video games make them".
i think that's all from me..good writing ^^
Hi Bowo! After reading your essay, I found some mistakes in it. Here are my corrections for your essay :
ReplyDelete1. On paragrpah 1, you should write "horror, strategy and shooting" without coma between "strategy" and "and"
2. On paragraph 2, I think you should put coma after you write "early", so it will become " If they do not realize early, they will be apathetic with society."
3. On paragraph 3, it should be " It will make children get disease easily and decrease their productivity." You don't have to repeat "it will"
4. On paragraph 4, "problem" should be "the problem"
5. On the last paragraph, "assignment school" should be "school assignment"
That's all. Thank you
Hello Bowo!!!
ReplyDeleteI think the parents should manage their child too. Usually children forget the time when they are playing video game, so parents must make timetable about their child’s activity. Thats my suggest,
Thank you Bowo…
Antika Esty S (1420302161/E)
ReplyDeleteHi Bowo, your essay is good but i'd like to comment for your essay
1. "Every children likes playing video" should be "play"
2. "Playing video games makes" should be "make"
3. "It will make" should be "makes"
4. "Playing video games is not" should be "are"
Thank you :)
Hemm woo, I just wanna ask to you that you have written sentence 'their assigment school'should be 'school assigment'
ReplyDelete