Name : Dina Asfarina Atras
SN : 1420302163
Class : 5
Date : 28 April 2016
CAUSE-EFFECT ESSAY
Topic : Homelessness
Many people around us who don’t have a
place to stay and they are usually referred to as the homelessness.
Homelessness usually live and running of daily life at under the bridge,
overhang stores, public parks, roadsides, riverbanks, railway station, or a
variety of other public facilities.
Homelessness have some reason why they
like that, effect experienced by the homelessness themselves, and how to reduce
the impact of homelessness.
There are some causes why they to be
homelessness, at the first is poverty, poverty is one of the main problems that lead to homelessness around the
world. Low incomes make people unable to pay all the costs that exist, such as
housing, education, health, etc. Many people ignore the cost of shelter,
because the cost to stay is very large. The second is illiterate, lack of education and illiteracy make it difficult
for a person to find a job that is sufficient to cope with the cost of living.
As a result, the salary earned is not sufficient to cover the cost of shelter. The third is mental illness, a lot of homeless people who have
mental illness. People who suffer from mental illness are often abandoned by
family and friends, not being able to take care of people suffering from mental
illness. The forth is drug and substance abuse, drug and alcohol abuse often leads people wasted on the streets. Usually
people turn to such things as depression or could not tolerate the pressure. The
fifth is domestic violence, homeless women and children are
strongly associated with the causes of this one. Very many women who leave home
because of violence from the husband. Many children and women who become
homeless in order to escape from domestic violence. The
sixth is lack of community support, social organizations often help families of the
unfortunate as to lose the only family members who are productive or other
disasters. The lack of such support could lead to increased numbers of
homeless. The seventh is natural disasters, natural disasters lately many befall our country. Many who
lost their homes and their jobs. So they chose to stay in public places such as
under bridges because they were no longer able to meet the needs of
increasingly longer requiring large amounts. The eleventh is staying in conflict areas, residents living in conflict
areas, where they feel their security less intact cause them moved to other
areas which they consider safer, especially if their homes were destroyed by
the war. Many acts of violence in areas of conflict, including sexual abuse,
rape, murder so that they are forced to leave the area. Then
is the failure of the nomads in search of work, this is the reason most public. Stories hometown of success migrants often become a cradle for
the children of the area to enliven the competition in large cities. Some of
these may succeed, but most of the migrants were not aware that a powerful
skill is the main capital in overseas. So that those who failed to embrace his
dream, to continue his life as a homeless with embarrassment when returning
home. The last is less Love, various causes so that children feel less attention, less
affectionate parents, so he took to the streets to find a community that would
accept him.
And the are some effects experienced
by homelessness are ; health and hygiene, their house potluck, so very far from the criteria for a
healthy home. Hygienic behavior is very less. Ventilation and lighting less and
others. So that appear a variety of health problems. They do not pay attention
to this because to eat alone they could hardly be met. They do not have enough
funds to maintain health and medicine. Second, malnutrition, their inability to meet food demand due to low purchasing
power of food, especially nutritious foods. They lead to malnutrition,
including children and infants pregnant. They eat a satiety. The
third is utilized, many small children are
utilized to beg and depositing an amount of money each day to avoid violence by
others more powerful or by adults who are not responsible. The
forth is sexual abuse, adults who are not
responsible sodomy, sexual abuse in exchange for money or under the threat of
them to vent their passions. The last is drug users, many of them use
drugs. Environmental influences they are very influential. They are vulnerable
to HIV-AIDS by sharing needles alternately.
And the last, there are some way how
to reduce the impact of homelessness are ; rehabilitatives efforts and give
them jobs by giving them the skills and empowerment
And then, there are conclusion about
this essay
Homelessness is a person who does not have a place to stay and usually
interfere with the welfare of a country or city that is very difficult to
handle and unlawful.
Hana Suci Anggraeni (1420302175/E)
ReplyDeleteHi Dina..your essay topic is interesting, but i've found some mistakes inside your essay. here they are:
1. on the first paragraph, the statement " they are usually referred" supposed to be "they usually refer".
2. you should understand where you should behead sentence, like using comma and point punctuation.
3. you'd better to give your essay a title.
4. on the second paragraph, this statement "Homelessness have some reason" should be "Homelessness have some reasons".then, you'd better to change this statement "why they to be homelessness" into "why do they become homelessness".
5. the word "and" is not appropriate if you put it at the beginning of the sentence.
6. you'd better to replace this statement "Many who lost their homes and their jobs" into "Many people who lost their homes and their jobs".
7. you should try to make the effective sentence.
that's all din,, thank's
hy hana, how are you? i will give my comment. I think that "Homelessness have some reason" should be "Homelessness has some reason" CMIIW :v
DeleteHi Dina..Your essay looks nice, but i'd like to give you my comments about your essay. here they are:
ReplyDelete1. "Homelessness have some reason" must be "Homelessness has some reason"
2. "The forth is drug" must be "The fourth is drug"
3. "the competition in large cities" must be "the competition in larger cities"
CMIIW :v
Hello Dina!!!
ReplyDeleteI’m sorry but any words that you must change because that’s wrong words, such as :
In the second paragraph, have must be has.
And the third paragraph, Very many women who leave home because of violence from the husband. You can choose one, very or many. Don’t use both of them Dina.
And then, there are conclusion about this essay. I think it would be And then, there are conclusions (with s) about this essay
Thank you Dina…
Shafira Adhelia (1420302179)
ReplyDeleteHi Dina! I found some mistakes in your essay. Here are my corrections for your mistakes :
1. On paragraph 1, it should be "Many people around us who don’t have a place to stay are usually referred to homelessness."
2. "at under the bridge" should be "at the under of the bridge"
3. On paragraph 2, "some reason" should be "some reasons"
4. In sentence "There are some causes why they to be homelessness, at the first is poverty, poverty is one of the main problems that lead to homelessness around the world", you should write it into some sentences. It will become "There are some causes why they to be homelessness. First is poverty. Poverty is one of the main problems that lead to homelessness around the world"
4. You should put coma after the word "usually" in sentence " Usually people turn"
5. " Many who " should be "many people"
6. The words "but" & "and" are not allowed to write at the beginning of sentence, so you have to remind it.
That's all, Dina. Thank you ^^
Antika Esty S (1420302161/E)
ReplyDeleteHi Dina, i'd like to comment for your essay
1. Sentence "homelessness have some" should be "has"
2. "Very many woman" should be "it is very"
3. "And they are" in writing rule conjunction doesn't use in beginning sentence
Thank you :)
Hi Dina, your text will be better if you not abridge your words, like 'don't', and 'so' in behind the point will make your text less than perfect..
ReplyDelete