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Thursday 5 May 2016

DINA ASFARINA ATRAS (1420302163/CLASS E) CAUSE-EFFECT ESSAY



Name  : Dina Asfarina Atras
SN       : 1420302163
Class    : 5
Date    : 28 April 2016
CAUSE-EFFECT ESSAY
Topic   : Homelessness
Many people around us who don’t have a place to stay and they are usually referred to as the homelessness. Homelessness usually live and running of daily life at under the bridge, overhang stores, public parks, roadsides, riverbanks, railway station, or a variety of other public facilities.
Homelessness have some reason why they like that, effect experienced by the homelessness themselves, and how to reduce the impact of homelessness.
There are some causes why they to be homelessness, at the first is poverty, poverty is one of the main problems that lead to homelessness around the world. Low incomes make people unable to pay all the costs that exist, such as housing, education, health, etc. Many people ignore the cost of shelter, because the cost to stay is very large. The second is illiterate, lack of education and illiteracy make it difficult for a person to find a job that is sufficient to cope with the cost of living. As a result, the salary earned is not sufficient to cover the cost of shelter. The third is mental illness, a lot of homeless people who have mental illness. People who suffer from mental illness are often abandoned by family and friends, not being able to take care of people suffering from mental illness. The forth is drug and substance abuse, drug and alcohol abuse often leads people wasted on the streets. Usually people turn to such things as depression or could not tolerate the pressure. The fifth is domestic violence, homeless women and children are strongly associated with the causes of this one. Very many women who leave home because of violence from the husband. Many children and women who become homeless in order to escape from domestic violence. The sixth is lack of community support, social organizations often help families of the unfortunate as to lose the only family members who are productive or other disasters. The lack of such support could lead to increased numbers of homeless. The seventh is natural disasters, natural disasters lately many befall our country. Many who lost their homes and their jobs. So they chose to stay in public places such as under bridges because they were no longer able to meet the needs of increasingly longer requiring large amounts. The eleventh is staying in conflict areas, residents living in conflict areas, where they feel their security less intact cause them moved to other areas which they consider safer, especially if their homes were destroyed by the war. Many acts of violence in areas of conflict, including sexual abuse, rape, murder so that they are forced to leave the area. Then is the failure of the nomads in search of work, this is the reason most public. Stories hometown of success migrants often become a cradle for the children of the area to enliven the competition in large cities. Some of these may succeed, but most of the migrants were not aware that a powerful skill is the main capital in overseas. So that those who failed to embrace his dream, to continue his life as a homeless with embarrassment when returning home. The last is less Love, various causes so that children feel less attention, less affectionate parents, so he took to the streets to find a community that would accept him.
And the are some effects experienced by homelessness are ; health and hygiene, their house potluck, so very far from the criteria for a healthy home. Hygienic behavior is very less. Ventilation and lighting less and others. So that appear a variety of health problems. They do not pay attention to this because to eat alone they could hardly be met. They do not have enough funds to maintain health and medicine. Second, malnutrition, their inability to meet food demand due to low purchasing power of food, especially nutritious foods. They lead to malnutrition, including children and infants pregnant. They eat a satiety. The third is utilized, many small children are utilized to beg and depositing an amount of money each day to avoid violence by others more powerful or by adults who are not responsible. The forth is sexual abuse, adults who are not responsible sodomy, sexual abuse in exchange for money or under the threat of them to vent their passions. The last is drug users, many of them use drugs. Environmental influences they are very influential. They are vulnerable to HIV-AIDS by sharing needles alternately.
And the last, there are some way how to reduce the impact of homelessness are ; rehabilitatives efforts and give them jobs by giving them the skills and empowerment
And then, there are conclusion about this essay
Homelessness is a person who does not have a place to stay and usually interfere with the welfare of a country or city that is very difficult to handle and unlawful.

7 comments:

  1. Hana Suci Anggraeni (1420302175/E)

    Hi Dina..your essay topic is interesting, but i've found some mistakes inside your essay. here they are:
    1. on the first paragraph, the statement " they are usually referred" supposed to be "they usually refer".
    2. you should understand where you should behead sentence, like using comma and point punctuation.
    3. you'd better to give your essay a title.
    4. on the second paragraph, this statement "Homelessness have some reason" should be "Homelessness have some reasons".then, you'd better to change this statement "why they to be homelessness" into "why do they become homelessness".
    5. the word "and" is not appropriate if you put it at the beginning of the sentence.
    6. you'd better to replace this statement "Many who lost their homes and their jobs" into "Many people who lost their homes and their jobs".
    7. you should try to make the effective sentence.

    that's all din,, thank's

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. hy hana, how are you? i will give my comment. I think that "Homelessness have some reason" should be "Homelessness has some reason" CMIIW :v

      Delete
  2. Hi Dina..Your essay looks nice, but i'd like to give you my comments about your essay. here they are:
    1. "Homelessness have some reason" must be "Homelessness has some reason"
    2. "The forth is drug" must be "The fourth is drug"
    3. "the competition in large cities" must be "the competition in larger cities"
    CMIIW :v

    ReplyDelete
  3. Hello Dina!!!
    I’m sorry but any words that you must change because that’s wrong words, such as :
    In the second paragraph, have must be has.
    And the third paragraph, Very many women who leave home because of violence from the husband. You can choose one, very or many. Don’t use both of them Dina.
    And then, there are conclusion about this essay. I think it would be And then, there are conclusions (with s) about this essay


    Thank you Dina… 

    ReplyDelete
  4. Shafira Adhelia (1420302179)

    Hi Dina! I found some mistakes in your essay. Here are my corrections for your mistakes :
    1. On paragraph 1, it should be "Many people around us who don’t have a place to stay are usually referred to homelessness."
    2. "at under the bridge" should be "at the under of the bridge"
    3. On paragraph 2, "some reason" should be "some reasons"
    4. In sentence "There are some causes why they to be homelessness, at the first is poverty, poverty is one of the main problems that lead to homelessness around the world", you should write it into some sentences. It will become "There are some causes why they to be homelessness. First is poverty. Poverty is one of the main problems that lead to homelessness around the world"
    4. You should put coma after the word "usually" in sentence " Usually people turn"
    5. " Many who " should be "many people"
    6. The words "but" & "and" are not allowed to write at the beginning of sentence, so you have to remind it.

    That's all, Dina. Thank you ^^

    ReplyDelete
  5. Antika Esty S (1420302161/E)
    Hi Dina, i'd like to comment for your essay
    1. Sentence "homelessness have some" should be "has"
    2. "Very many woman" should be "it is very"
    3. "And they are" in writing rule conjunction doesn't use in beginning sentence
    Thank you :)

    ReplyDelete
  6. Hi Dina, your text will be better if you not abridge your words, like 'don't', and 'so' in behind the point will make your text less than perfect..

    ReplyDelete

 
 
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