Name : TEZA PUTRA HANDIKA
NM : 1420302168
Class : 5
Foods
In this era, many people want to be
healthy life. They are doing sport activities everyday and keep their always in
the top spirit. They are not aware about the foods. People want to be health
but they didn't to stop eating junk food. They are not aware about it, they
just doing sport activities and eating junk foods. That is unless. If they are
want to be health, they must consume healthy foods. Healthy foods is good for
completing their healthy life. There are the benefit between healthy foods and
junk foods. These writing also discuss about the differences about healthy life
with consume healthy foods and healthy life with junk foods, the cost of it,
and the consequences of it.
The benefit of healthy foods for body
is very contrast with junk foods. Healthy foods are make the body feel fresh.
There are a lot of healthy foods, like fruits, vegetables, milk, and so on.
These is nice for body because they have many nutrients that always body
needed. Contrast with healthy foods, junk foods are make bad effect for healthy.
Nice taste and quick serve is not ensure that its good for the nutrients.
Generally, junk foods like pizza, hamburger, and hot dog has high calories and
dangerous.
Healthy life with consume healthy
foods is more proven. Fruits and vegetables has nutrition to make body fell
good. Not jus for eat, apparently its also good for body treatment. We can use
it for spa, make up mask, and any other. But that is not if for junk foods.
Doing sport activities but still consume junk food is unless activity. Its
better if doing sports everyday and also consume healthy foods.
Applying healthy life with consume
healthy foods is more expensive. The materials like fresh fruits and fresh
vegetables are little more expensive. When people decided to be healthy life,
they must accept the consequences. Consume junk foods is cheaper than healthy
foods because usually junk food is instant and easy to find. we can find it
just the around of us and easy. Health is not cheep. More expensive but healthy
is better than cheep but dangerous.
The choices must has consequent. Like
when you choose to be health with healthy foods. It has consequent. More
expensive, more health, and more fresh are the consequent of healthy foods.
Different from healthy foods, junk foods also has consequent, but bad consequent.
Junk food can make illness for people. It has bad effect. So, the consequent is
real. This is a choice, are the people want to health or ill.
What's wrong with your tittle?
ReplyDeleteGreat essay with an awesome tittle.
ReplyDeleteIn line 2 i guess, it will be better if you use them, not their.
ReplyDeleteIn line 3, i guess after word didn't it will be better if you eliminated word "to".
In line 8, what do you mean with "healty life with junk food" ?
In line 12, i guess it will be better if word "healthy" with word "health".
In line 16, please check word "jus". It should be replaced by word "just"
In line 23, after dot you should use capital letter.
In line 24 and 25, the spelling of word "cheep". It should be replaced by word "cheap".
Thank you 😀
Dina Asfarina Atras 1420302163
ReplyDelete1. In third paragraph second sentence "Fruits and vegetables has nutrition to make body fell good.
Fell should be "feel" please be more conscientious in your spelling.
2. In third paragraph fourth sentence "We can use it for spa, make up mask, and any other"
Other should be "others"
Thank you
Thank you guys for your attention. It was very helpful to me in knowing my mistake in writing :)
ReplyDeleteIt would be better if you do not shortened don’t, and the sentence “Junk food can make illness for people.” Above 'junk foods ' but on the other no 'S ' when that is sama..
ReplyDeleteok my comments are :
ReplyDelete1. "everyday" must be "every day"
2. "If they are want to be health," must be "If they want to be healthy,"
3. "Healthy foods is good " must be "Healthy foods are good"
4. "Healthy foods are make" must be "Healthy foods make"
5. "These is nice for body" must be "These are nice for the body"
ok improve your vocabulary. CMIIW :v
Hana Suci Anggraeni (1420302175/E)
ReplyDeleteHi Teza..On this occasion i'd like to give you some comments about your writing work..here they are:
1. on the firs paragraph, you'd better to replace this statement "want to be healthy life" into "want to have a healthy life".then, "didn't to stop eating" supposed to be "didn't stop eat".
2. on the second paragraph, "These is" should be "These are". again, i remind you for paying attention about the singular and plural form.
3. on the third paragraph, "Fruits and vegetables has" supposed to be "Fruits and vegetables have".
4. the last, "The choices must has" should be "The choices must have".
well, that's all. thank's
Antika Esty S (1420302161/E)
ReplyDeleteHi teza, i'd like to some comments for your essay
1. Sentence "they just doing sport activities and eating junk food..." should be "eat".
2. "Healthy foods is good" is wrong, should be "are" not "is".
3. "Healthy foods are make" is wrong, you should be wrote "healthy foods make"
4. Junk foods are make" is wrong , you must wrote " junk foods make"
5. "Pizza humburger, and hot dog has high, it is more one word so you must use to "have".
6." Fruits and vegetables has" is wrong, should be "have".
7. Not "its better" but "it's better" because it is different meaning.
Thank you :)